Monday, February 16, 2009

No News Junkie Here

From what I can tell, a lot of people watch The News incessantly. They just can't get enough of it. These days, insatiable seekers of information squint their eyes at tiny newsblurbs scrolling at the bottom of--you guessed it--Network News Broadcasts.

I, on the other hand, do not see the value in The News--primarily because it already happened. It's too late for me to do anything about it now--can't avoid it, can't confront it. In my opinion, they should change its name to The Olds.

Now, contrast this with The Weather report--something I find myself staring at for hours on end. Oh sure, they tell you what the temperature is now--but get this--they actually predict what will happen in the future. Whether they are right or wrong is almost immaterial; this is information that you can use.

But that doesn't mean that all hope is lost for The News. On the contrary, the networks should seriously consider having the news written (and perhaps broadcasted) by psychics. Who wouldn't want to know when and where the next vehicular accident or stock market plunge will take place? And last night's winning lottery numbers? Give me tomorrow night's and we'll be in business.

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