Saturday, April 25, 2009

Career Opportunities

It is definitely rough economic times here in the United States. Jobs are being exported to other countries and job-seekers are following suit.

Fortunately, one doesn't have to look much past the Far East to find employment possibilities—provided, of course, that you have the necessary skill-set.* To that end, here are some randomly chosen Classified Ads from a popular Japanese periodical.



*-Remember that even in Japan, it is illegal to discriminate on the basis of age, gender, race, religion or the ability to reason abstractly...



Wanted: Ninja
Are you quiet? mysterious? nunchuck-savvy? Do you look good in black? We have 3 open positions that need to be filled immediately. Do not forward resume or arrange interview. Merely enter through locked, 4th story window under cloak of darkness.




Wanted: Samurai Warrior
Play out your Japanese Feudal Fantasies here! Unwavering loyalty a must! Call to schedule an interview. Don’t get the job?...there’s a sword by the door; you’ll know what to do.





Wanted: Kamikaze Pilot
See the world on a variety of 1-way excursions! Good aim—required. Expert piloting skills—required. Landing skills—not so necessary. Do not hesitate to fill out an application; new positions are becoming available daily.

10 comments:

Dave said...

I labeled this post "interesting" because it deals with serious subjects such as jobs, Japan and nunchucks.

Shawn said...

I want to be a ninja. I wonder what the pay is like.

Dave said...

Shawn: I don't know, but it must be OK. I've seen precious few ninjas hanging around soup kitchens--but then, you WOULDN'T see them, now would you??

mp said...

I didn't know you could rate your own posts.
I will take the Samurai warrior...I love a man in a uniform.

Dave said...

MP: Of course you can rate your own posts. Early on, they were the only ratings I ever got. And even then, I had to bribe myself. Boy, those ice cream cones WERE yummy.

Jeff Tompkins said...

Now this is what I call an economic recovery plan. You should be working in the White House. Excellent.

And could you please alert me when a certain job opens up? I am interested in becoming a taste-tester at one of those Japanese restaurants where you eat Sushi off a naked model's body. FEMALE ONLY. Thank you.

Dave said...

Jeff: Female sushi? I never thought about it. Maybe next time, I'll lift those things up and take a look before I eat...Hai!

brookeamanda said...

I could sooo be a Samurai Warrior, especially if I'm PMSing hard-core.

Jeff Tompkins said...

Dave, good catch on the sushi (no pun intended) comment. Whoops.

Dave said...

Brookeamanda: As always, you both entertain and terrify me.

Jeff: Re "Catch on the sushi"--I so do hate it when you are more clever than I.