Friday, July 10, 2009

Poetry Corner

I admit it. I lay claim to some of the worst poetry ever scribbled onto parchment with a quill. However, when I went back to analyze my poetic disasters, I came to a startling conclusion: I seemingly had mastered the form; it was the content that was sorely lacking. Or in the vernacular, it was lame-eth.

So, what was a budding poet to do? Perhaps write poetry about writing poetry. And after setting my mind to this endeavor for several minutes (at least), out spewed some of the finest—and perhaps only—examples of Meta-Poetry known to modern man:


Can’t write a Haiku
That fun, Japanese poem
Had too much sake

Lame, ridiculous!
Thinking, writing, erasing
Schmo, fool, idiot, ass!
Crinkling, tossing, quitting
Embarrassed, ashamed

What does it mean?
6 syllables? No way!
Now you want 8? Get out of here!

There once was a person from [place]
Who had an ordinary face,
The rest is quite wordy
And also too dirty
To be included in this family-oriented, rated-G space.

A clerihew once was written by Lenny
A type of poem not known by many.
Did the publisher pay him for this poem, I wonder?
Not for this poetical blunder.

A quatrain is a 4-line poem
How to write it, I will show ‘em.
You alternate rhyming lines you see—
Never use scheme AA BB.

Free Verse
A poet who cannot rhyme to save their life
Should try their hand at free verse.
This way, you convince the world you are genius
And no one can think worse—Damn!


lorisays said...

You're a funny guy, Dave. And a poet, who knew? FWIW, 'Free Verse' is my fave :-)

Jeff said...

This reminds me of an episode of Cheers in which Sam said he was going to write poetry. He said there was nothing to it, you just write a bunch of stuff that rhymes. Diane said, "Sam, poetry doesn't have to rhyme. Some of the best poetry doesn't rhyme." And he said, "Oh, good. That's even easier."

Dave said...

Lorisays: Thanks for visiting and thanks even more for the compliments. And I think I saw that movie, "Free Verse". Isn't it about the poet who they finally release into the wilds of the library? Still brings a tear to my eye when they reshow it on HBO.

Jeff: As with many others, I guess, I learned everything I needed to know in my adult life from watching "Cheers".

MP said...

I'm a poet and my toes show it.
They're Longfellows.

Jason said...

This is a funny site you have going on here man. Just wanted to stop by and tell you how I felt. I was wondering if you could take a look at my humor blog and maybe we can exchange links.

Let me know.


Dave said...

MP: One's physiological quirks do not make good fodder for poetry. At least good poetry.

MP said...

Ahem...I wasn't aware that you were familiar with "good" poetry.

Dave said...

Yes--good poetry. Like the stuff put forth by Jane Austen Texas, Robert George Burns and Thomas "Inda" Hood.