Saturday, March 7, 2009

Minor League Report

Hey, Baseball Fans! There’s only a few weeks left until Opening Day, so let’s take some time and check out the latest prospects on the minor league club. Who knows, one of these young bucks might actually make it to the “Big Show” this season...

(15) Edwin Slobobowitz—1st base. Bats—Right; Throws—Right; Sings—Awful. Edwin’s the highly touted player recently obtained in that blockbuster trade with the Pittsfield Platypuses. Edwin is proud of the fact that he hit over “300” last season; he’s even prouder that only 18 hit back.

(53) Rico Sanchez Colon Argueyo Sabado Domingo—Catcher. Bats—Right. Throws—Fits. Rico, who was drafted when he was only 6, hails from Puerto la Puerta, in the Dominican Republic. Rico is fond of saying (albeit through an interpreter), “I love catching. It is very important. Without me, the ball would keep hitting the backstop.” Gotta love that attitude.

(0) Cubby [on left]—Ballboy. Throws—Excrement (but only when angry). Swings—Freely. Cubby is something of a good luck charm around the clubhouse. He also is the good-natured victim of some practical jokes—like the time when one of the players gave him a head-to-toe bikini wax while he slept. Good times, boys.


Anonymous said...

Love the ballboy. See, there ARE monkeys up there. What is this profile stuff i have to fill out to post a comment?

Dave said...

Dear Anonymous (You know who you are...),
I believe this routine has been put in place to discourage ridiculous postings. As you can see, the mechanism does not work as advertised.