Saturday, March 28, 2009

Points of Interest Along the Ol’ Walking Trail

When I am not cycling, I walk for fitness. Living in New York City theoretically allows me access to many wonderful places to walk; yet being the agoraphobic homebody that I am, I find myself sticking to a 2K loop around a local golf course.

But that does not mean that my trail is without its merits. On the contrary, it is so chocked full of points of interest, that while peering around I often lose complete track of time. In fact, I remember starting a walk one Saturday morning only to be picked up by the FBI some 36 hours later. Man, was I thirsty.

So, join me on a little virtual tour of my walking trail, won’t you?

We start at the Dyker Park playground. A lot of eye-opening things happen here. Therefore, I often bring my kids the playground—not only to play but also to take in the sights. Like that drug-addicted transvestite who keeps on asking us for money. It’s good to expose your children to diversity.

Here is the Dyker Doggie Park (yeah, I said "doggie"--wanna make something of it?). People bring their dogs here to exercise and be with other dogs. I try not to look too much at the goings-on here at the doggie-park; it depresses me to see animals with more active social lives than I have.

Here is Poly Prep Country Day School. It is ironically named. While kids do take classes during the daylight hours, it is not located in the country. Unless they are referring to America. Their mission statement is steeped in irony as well; i.e., “Give your kids a high school education at a university price.”

Here is the Veteran’s Hospital sign. It broadcasts all sorts of important information. Did you know that January was “Spleen Health Month”? Neither did I. It also tells you the time, the temperature and the date. The last-named is particularly important since I often forget what day it is from one go-round to the next (see above).

Here is the Dyker Junior Golf Center. Why do they need a golf center for kids, you might ask? Well, that level of snobbery is not inborn. No sir, it needs to be nurtured from an early age.

Here is the new extension of the local public school. After it is completed, students will no longer have to go to classes in pre-fab trailers parked in the school lot. I saw this structure before the covering was put on it. It was completely made up of pre-fab trailers piled one on top of another.

Well, we have completed the circuit. I hope you enjoyed the tour. Maybe next time you can join me for my 2nd favorite path: The Shlep to Food Dynasty and Back.


MP said...

Taking the kids to see the trannies. I like that. Its so wholesome.

Dave said...

Weren't they surprised? They thought we were going to the nursing home to see the GRANNIES...